Noe Valley Couples Therapist - Counselor

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Medium Roundup Winter 2018

Another sampling of my recent articles in case you missed them. Surprising Benefits of Gratitude and Awe. How Long Will Therapy Take? Deep Acceptance In Relationships. If you’d like to be notified by email when I publish a new article (usually once a month or less) click here to sign up. Thanks for reading!

More Medium Articles – 2017

Here are some more articles I’ve written on Medium.  The first one  been read by over 23,000 people!  The second is a rewrite of an article that appears earlier in this blog, and on Medium it’s Part II of two articles, so if it interests you, you might want to check out Part I. Choosing […]

Roundup of My Recent Medium Articles (2016)

I’ve been writing quite a bit on Medium.  Here are some fairly recent popular articles (Medium calls them “stories”): Your Primary Relationship is Your Primary Relationship. Trust vs. Threat. Your Relationship is an Ecosystem. If you search for my name on Medium you can find others. Thanks for reading!

Lilly Sloane Interviews Me On Relationships

Check out Lily Sloan’s podcast about relationships, featuring yours truly, with references to such greats as Glennon Melton Doyle, Dan Wile, Terry Real and Stan Tatkin (not to mention Fig Newtons!).  Also see Lily’s podcast site, A Therapist Walks Into A Bar.

My Huffington Post Article on Work-Life

Click here to read my article on how overwork is harming families.

Low- or No-Sex Relationships (Video)

This is all familiar ground for experienced couples therapists, but Michelle Weiner-Davis puts it all together very nicely in this TED talk.  Notice especially the examples of how the conversation can go wrong vs. how it can go right, and the potential reversal of desire and arousal.

A Couples Therapist at the Movies – “Her”

 Spoiler alert: this may not be much of a review, and could negatively affect your impression of the movie “Her” if you have not yet seen it. And there are actually some spoilers. This article is probably better read after having seen the movie. or perhaps if you do not plan to see it at […]

Connected Yet Alone – How Social Media Corrode Relationship

One of my favorite quotes (from Pete Pearson) is that good communication is an unnatural act.  And unfortunately, as I have to remind my couples all the time, technology is conspiring with our instincts for connection, but at the cost of disconnection from the person in front of us.  Texting, email and other social media […]

What makes people feel close?

 I love it when my clients ask a great question. In years of doing couples work nobody had asked me that directly…until a few weeks ago. Of course there have been variations like “How can we feel closer?,” or the sad antithesis: “How did things get so bad?,” or the common: “Why do we just […]

Which (Not Who!) Comes First?

Sex and Emotional Intimacy It is often said that in heterosexual couples women get turned on by emotional intimacy while men access their emotional intimacy through sex. Of course there are exceptions, but for the most part this generalization holds true in my experience. What is the basis for this? Boys and Girls About 30 […]

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Top 10 psychologists in San Francisco, CA 2015

Congratulations to Robert Solley PhD for winning the 2015 Patients' Choice Awards in San Francisco Psychologist