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Systems/Theory

More Medium Articles

Here are some more articles I’ve written on Medium.  The first one  been read by over 15,000 people!  The second is a rewrite of an article that appears earlier in this blog, and on Medium it’s Part II of two articles, so if it interests you, you might want to check out Part I as […]

Your Brain on Threat: Demands and Expectations

On Medium:  Your Brain on Threat.

What I’m Reading Now

A few months ago I went through a wonderful “beginner’s sequence” of books exploring aspects of mindfulness and Buddhism, all of which I’d recommend for anyone interested in those topics.  Here they are: The Monk and the Philosopher – Jean Francois Revel and Matthieu Ricard A somewhat repetitive, but otherwise enjoyable and informative dialog between […]

My Fall Newsletter on Sadness

I know: not a cheery topic.  But a good one to understand along with all the other emotions I’ve covered in my series.  This article includes some information on the essential process of repair in relationships.  Here’s the link:  Anatomy of Emotion – Sadness  (BTW, I don’t always post my newsletters.  If you want to […]

A Couples Therapist at the Movies – “Her”

 Spoiler alert: this may not be much of a review, and could negatively affect your impression of the movie “Her” if you have not yet seen it. And there are actually some spoilers. This article is probably better read after having seen the movie. or perhaps if you do not plan to see it at […]

Part 2 of Understanding Men

Recently published on Psyched in SF:  Understanding Men, Part 2:  The influence of male values on our society, and how to create an atmosphere in relationships with male-minded people that encourages empathy and emotional connection.

Understanding Men Part 1

Here’s a new article for Psyched In SF: Understanding Men, Part 1 I’m going to be writing more now for other sources, so you may be seeing more links here to those places (rather than the text of the article itself). And in a similar vein came across this which totally fits: About Men From […]

Creativity and Freedom From Choice (Video)

Here’s an interesting pairing of TED talks (if I do say so!). First, finding inspiration in limitation, and then what seems like the opposite: the overwhelm of choice in modern society. However, they come together in an interesting way when you think about their applicability to relationships. Imagine partners–instead of comparing their partners and relationships […]

What’s Wrong With Right or Wrong

The Ambiguity of Language Partly because people who get more caught up in right and wrong tend to be engineers, accountants, lawyers, and others whose work is fairly “rule governed,” in this article I’m going to lean towards the technical side for some of my analogies and comparisons. Language is often more imprecise than we […]

Which (Not Who!) Comes First?

Sex and Emotional Intimacy It is often said that in heterosexual couples women get turned on by emotional intimacy while men access their emotional intimacy through sex. Of course there are exceptions, but for the most part this generalization holds true in my experience. What is the basis for this? Boys and Girls About 30 […]

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Top 10 psychologists in San Francisco, CA 2015

Congratulations to Robert Solley PhD for winning the 2015 Patients' Choice Awards in San Francisco Psychologist