Noe Valley Couples Therapist - Counselor

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More Medium Articles

Here are some more articles I’ve written on Medium.  The first one  been read by over 15,000 people!  The second is a rewrite of an article that appears earlier in this blog, and on Medium it’s Part II of two articles, so if it interests you, you might want to check out Part I as […]

Roundup of My Recent Medium Articles

I’ve been writing quite a bit on Medium.  Here are some fairly recent popular articles (Medium calls them “stories”): Your Primary Relationship is Your Primary Relationship Trust vs. Threat Your Relationship is an Ecosystem If you search for my name on Medium you can find others. Thanks for reading!

Your Brain on Threat: Demands and Expectations

On Medium:  Your Brain on Threat.

What I’m Reading Now

A few months ago I went through a wonderful “beginner’s sequence” of books exploring aspects of mindfulness and Buddhism, all of which I’d recommend for anyone interested in those topics.  Here they are: The Monk and the Philosopher – Jean Francois Revel and Matthieu Ricard A somewhat repetitive, but otherwise enjoyable and informative dialog between […]

10 Life Enhancing Things To Do At A Stoplight

My post in Psyched Magazine: 10 Stoplight Things

Low- or No-Sex Relationships (Video)

This is all familiar ground for experienced couples therapists, but Michelle Weiner-Davis puts it all together very nicely in this TED talk.  Notice especially the examples of how the conversation can go wrong vs. how it can go right, and the potential reversal of desire and arousal.

Part 2 of Understanding Men

Recently published on Psyched in SF:  Understanding Men, Part 2:  The influence of male values on our society, and how to create an atmosphere in relationships with male-minded people that encourages empathy and emotional connection.

Creativity and Freedom From Choice (Video)

Here’s an interesting pairing of TED talks (if I do say so!). First, finding inspiration in limitation, and then what seems like the opposite: the overwhelm of choice in modern society. However, they come together in an interesting way when you think about their applicability to relationships. Imagine partners–instead of comparing their partners and relationships […]

Right & Wrong Cont’d: Apologies and Emergencies

I wrote previously about how right/wrong thinking can be problematic in relationships.  I’d like to expand that today in two common (and usually quite different!) areas: apologies and emergencies. When Apologies Are Hard Often in my sessions with couples there will come a point where an apology is needed.  Sometimes one partner will ask for […]

Holiday Stress: Recalculating

A nicely written little piece with an interesting idea for maintaining perspective at times of conflict: Recalculating.  Ms. Heffernan makes some intriguing points, including that technology can amplify our humanness as well as become a “triangulated third” in a couples dispute.  However, the part that really struck home for me was the idea of seeing […]

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Top 10 psychologists in San Francisco, CA 2015

Congratulations to Robert Solley PhD for winning the 2015 Patients' Choice Awards in San Francisco Psychologist