Noe Valley Couples Therapist - Counselor

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New Parents Counseling

New Parents Counseling

We’re Having a Baby!

The arrival of a new baby is a wondrous event in most people’s lives. However, while everyone understands that it is stressful, most couples are not ready for all the changes that the new family member brings. A great deal of mom’s attention shifts to the baby (as it should!), and dads are often unprepared for their new roles in many ways.

Pre-existing conflicts in your relationship may come under new pressures, with sleep-deprivation upping the ante by making you both more emotionally reactive and less able to think clearly. What’s worse, parental conflict can have negative effects on your baby’s emotional and intellectual development.

In fact, research has consistently shown that without therapy, two out of three couples become very unhappy within the 36 months after a new baby is born.  Postpartum depression is common for both the mother and the father. But there is hope!

You can learn how to have a better relationship!

Fortunately, there are proven steps that can make your relationship better than ever. By learning about some of the common patterns of new parenthood, and by learning to address the challenges that your relationship may have had even before the baby, you and your partner can regain the intimacy and love that will provide the most solid foundation possible for your family.

What can we expect from therapy?

  • I see couples therapy as being somewhat like an adult education class. It is a place where you can learn skills that distinguish successful couples from struggling couples, learn about your own patterns and how to overcome them, and learn how to strive for the kind of relationship you would like.
  • Perhaps the most important role for each of you is to be open to reflecting and learning about yourselves and to trying new things.
  • The time that we spend in sessions is a tiny fraction of your lives. While people are busier and busier these days (and especially with a new baby!), practicing new skills and being more mindful outside the sessions can dramatically accelerate your progress. And what could be more important than the well being and integrity of you and your family?
  • For more about how to get the most out of therapy, see my top blog post called Maximizing Your Couples Therapy which I have everyone read before coming in for the first session.

Things you will learn:

  • How a new baby changes the way you  interact, and how to restore and maintain your connection
  • Keys to a healthy, happy relationship
  • The top four ways of responding to your partner that predict divorce…and how to reverse them
  • How the language of emotions is different from the language of logic
  • The crucial roles of each parent, and how and why it matters for dad to be involved in the family
  • How curiosity can work in your favor

The sooner you get help, the easier it will be to get your family back on a solid foundation.  Call my Noe Valley office today for a free phone consultation!

Top 10 psychologists in San Francisco, CA 2015

Congratulations to Robert Solley PhD for winning the 2015 Patients' Choice Awards in San Francisco Psychologist